Earlier this week I presented a philosophical paper on objectification, the transformation of humans into commodities or tools toward the achievement of an end. Kant tells us that people should never be means to an end, but the ends themselves.
Somehow I feel your eyes glazing over. Take my word that I found a way to make the concept vivid to the kind people who attended the presentation. I could have given them another example from my own life, but I was still a little in shock at that point and wouldn't have been able to explain the situation very well. I may not do any better here, but I want to try.
So. There's this guy, terribly nice but not quite my type, for some reason. Attractive, a little taller and a little older than me. Charming, intelligent, and not at all surprised that I'm in college full time at my age. He calls every few days, he shows an interest, he brought me flowers whenhe thought I needed a little present to fight the stress. He's only known me a few weeks, but he's made it clear he's interested in a romantic relationship.
At first this sounded like a nice idea. After all, he has a lot of the qualities I like, and no one man is going to be absolutely perfect. Plus, I have to admit thinking that if he wasn't the right guy in the long run, I'd eventually break up with him. In the meantime, we'd have fun and I'd have someone to spend my spare time with who could buy dinner once in a while. Then it occurred to me that I was turning him into Mr. Right Now. This would not be right.
I admit there is an emotional void in my life. One part of it is that I do not have a church with which I identify; the other part is that I do not have a life partner. However, turning this perfectly nice guy into someone to temporarily fill part of this emotional void is turning him into an object -- objectifying him.
While some men may want to become a sex object, most guys would not want to become objectified -- used as the means to the end of my not being lonely when I'm not doing schoolwork.
I was really upset when I figured out what my fiendish little mind was doing. The temptation was to just forget the ethics of the situation and pretend my way into a little romance, but I guess my memory is too good for that.
He'll make a nice friend while he looks for Ms. Right. And when we go out to dinner, we'll go Dutch.
I am so proud of you!!!! Geez, I wish traditional college students (including myself!) could get this message through their heads and into their hearts. We'd have a lot less of those broken, that's for sure.
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