I can't believe I'm finally here

It finally happened last night, as I was driving home from another food service shift. It was that moment of bliss, when I realized that after all the planning, the relocating from my hometown, the uprooting of relationships, the expense, the homework, the tuition, the endless second-guessing of my means and motives, here I was:

• I was driving home to a lovely, quiet place almost built for an older scholar. Well, someone who wants to be a scholar.
• I had just spent 12 hours on the campus where I had wanted to be for about three years, attending classes, studying and learning.
• I had just punched out of a job that, while I still wonder if I can handle the physical challenges, makes me happy on the level of providing service to others.
• Despite the complete and total loss of my social life, for the most part I'm living the way I want to live.

What made this come to mind was the encounter I had yesterday with the very first person I've met on the SMU campus who obviously didn't want to be there. Sparing the details and identifying information, it was pretty obvious to me and the others around him that he'd rather be somewhere else doing something more important. He is morose, mopy and uninterested, a depressed and depressing contrast to everyone else I've met on campus. Commuter students come in from an hour or more away each day, and campus residents seem to be pretty happy to be around for the most part. The school must be doing something for them that doesn't reach this guy.

That last paragraph sounds remarkably chirpy, but SMU is different from the places I've worked in the real world. From CBS to Seattle-radio-stations-otherwise-unnamed, and from the UW to private non-profits, the norm has been that every organization has a good percentage of employees or beneficiaries who are looking for a better job, higher status or more money elsewhere. At least twice I've been among the group looking at the want ads on a daily basis as I worked as hard as I could during the day. That's why the atmosphere at SMU amazes me -- and why this sad little kid has me concerned for him.

As far as classes are concerned, I've noticed that every time I think I'm caught up, more reading needs to be done immediately. Of course, math and accounting majors keep finding more problems and philosophy majors find more syllogisms, so I hope I can get used to the workload by the end of the semester.

Meanwhile, this morning the sun is coming up and the crows are calling me out to see what's happening on the water. May you find your bliss moment today and tomorrow and ever after.